Rev - Do they have pizza in Tennessee?
You know, it's round, has this stuff called crust on the bottom. It's covered with this red stuff called sauce made from tomatoes and spices. It has mozzarella cheese - white looking and melted. Sometimes extra stuff like pepperoni (too hard to explain), mushrooms, onions, sausage (not deer sausage like you have - eyetalian sausage), peppers and other toppings. Lots of oil, not Quaker State, but olive oil. Oregano - green stuff. It's made by some guy with hairy arms, a moustache and a tee shirt usually called Tony or Sal. It's baked in an oven, a pizza oven, not smoked, steamed or BBQed. It's not pulled like pork or chicken. You use a round cutting thing called a pizza cutter to cut it into slices, not slabs or links. You usually get it at a joint called a pizza place.
You have to be careful understanding real pizza. There are lousy frozen imitations in supermarkets. There is this hideous stuff they give kids at school called "school lunch pizza" usually eaten with bags of potato chips. There are some terrible pizza chains that sell something that looks like pizza but tastes like soggy, half-cooked pita bread with Ragu.
Like COVID, there are also some pizza variants - so be careful. Greek pizza - good but the sauce is too sweet, and they only know how to cook in pans. Connecticut pizza - they stole NY pizza and try to call it original. Chicago pizza - good but they don't know the cheese goes on top and you have to be a Cubs fan or a Bears fan to enjoy it. Boston pizza - Gawd, wicked good but Boston has better seafood. Philly - great cheese steaks but OK pizza. NJ - after riding in traffic on the NJ Turnpike, you are too sick to eat pizza. Detroit - makes pizza in old car oil drip pans. Texas - thinks they are making pizza but it's really tacos on crust. Florida - makes geriatric pizza for retirees. And California - like it's like, not Italian, it's like trendy, and like healthy, and like - awful like.
NY pizza & Brooklyn pizza, the original pizza places, the best pizza places. If a NYC pizza place has lines to get a slice - it is good.
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