THE PILE; P 5
“You’re done, you gotta go”. I hear the voice coming from the other end of my phone, the voice is Uniformed Firefighters Association Vice President Mike Carter, he then restates distinctly, only this time his voice entering my ear sounds like someone slowing down a record on the turntable of a record player, it’s slow and remote; “Forget about going back full duty, you’re done, you gotta go”.
It’s mid gray winter, Jean and I have relocated from our Battery Park apartment with tears in our eyes, we loved living in Manhattan, and it is a little harder for her, Jean has lived at that address for nine years. We loved the area and the lifestyle, the esplanade where we watched passing barges and ferries, people commuting to and from work and restaurants of all kinds within walking distance nearby. But now the air was filled with diesel exhaust, pulverized cement, glass fibers, asbestos, silica, benzene and lead. The noise of heavy machinery unabated. We realized we could not stay here anymore, for our health and well being, and so on our second wedding anniversary in December two weeks before Christmas we moved from Battery Park to bucolic Bronxville into a charming pre war Georgian Brick Apartment House apartment. Across from us is a majestic historical gray block Dutch Reformed Church that rings church bells on the hour. We have gone from the reverberations of excavators to the solemn ringing of a church bell.
Bronxville is a beautiful close knit community with grandiose pre-war homes and a quaint town that invites you to walk around and indulge in any one of the many coffee shops. Since Jean has resumed working in Midtown, the nearby train station to Grand Central is a minute away, and I drive her to the station everyday.
After Jean hops on the train, my game plan is to head for either a doctor appointment or funeral. If any of those two functions are not happening I head down to the Pile. After many months of raking and probing scattered rubble for remains and dumping the matter into some one hundred thousand trucks, the pile has now become the pit. The routine is steadfast and mundane at times, the days merge into a gray blur. Since September 11, I have not recalled seeing a sunny sky.
Certain days I travel to the pit by myself, throw on my coveralls and find a spot spending the day digging. When I know the day will be dry and the temperature comfortable enough I call my old boss from E 88, Captain Tough Timmy Gallagher and another E 88 buddy Marty to pull them out of retirement and accompany me at the pit for the day digging. TT lived in Riverdale, right along the way to the site. The three of us sitting in the front seat of my GMC pick up truck for the ride downtown.
The last few times digging at the pit I was with other teams, we were able to confirm three recoverys through positive identification. The first was a firefighter from E 4, who was wearing his handi-talkie with the assigned riding position on the leather case. The second was a woman from Orange County we identified from a still intact wallet she had in her black colored slacks back pocket. The third was another firefighter from L 2 we identified by his name in his coat.
When you discovered remains, you had to call a firefighter that had a GPS system to catalogue the location. We placed victims into red bags, all victims, whether firefighter or civilian, were placed into a stokes basket then covered by an American Flag. I remember carrying out the firefighter from E 4, I was at the head of the stokes along with E 24 firefighter and friend Bobby Beddia. A few years later, Bobby would be killed with Firefighter Joey Graffignino across the street at the Deutsche Bank seven alarm fire in 2007.
Along with Captain Tim and Marty we often dug with retired FDNY fathers whose firefighter sons were missing. I recall when we first discovered the L 2 firefighter, only the soles of his boots appeared from the mountain of debris encapsulating him. We made way as one of the dads jumped in and with dogged determination single handedly carved away debris until we were able to pull the remains free. Although not his son, the dad seemed relieved for a moment knowing that he just recovered somebody else's son.
Digging, pulling and scratching the surface while the huge excavators removed debris for us to inspect and sort through was repeated over and over. The excavators would remove huge chunks of wreckage and we’d sift carefully in search of human remains. Sometimes you could tell you were close to finding someone by the smell of decaying flesh. I recall raking and all of a sudden turning over a full intact knee joint, it just popped up out of the rubble.
In the process of scratching and digging I found numerous internal computer parts, WTC ID cards, a contorted rusted revolver, a collection of Police Patches, twisted elevator doors, a small zamboni and elevator floor signs. One of my interesting finds was a case of wooden matches from “Windows of the World” the restaurant on top of the North Tower. Everything and anything of value I discovered was turned over to the proper authorities. Finding glass was very rare, there were forty four thousand windows in the WTC, plus interior doors and windows, the glass was pulverized, finding a piece of glass was like finding a diamond.
After a day of digging, gouging and burrowing through debris, Timmy, Marty and I headed up the ramp to the huge carnival looking white tent the Red Cross erected that was fondly called “The Taj Mahal”. Before entering we had to decontaminate our muddy work boots. Upon entering you were immediately greeted by gracious Red Cross Volunteers who were happy to provide us with a hot buffet, coffee and a quiet place to sit. Notwithstanding, Tough Timmy charmed the little old ladies, and they’d supply him with a travel kit of fixings for his dinner later that night back home.
(Captain Tim, me, Marty)
Back home in Bronxville, I await for Jeans train. Our ride home from the train station is only a couple of minutes. The train station is within walking distance, but I pick her up and allow her to relax for the short ride home. I tell her of my conversation with the UFA Vice President, “I have to retire, he told me I’m done and I have to go”. Mike’s blunt reveal astounded us.
Today is the last day at the pit for recovery work, the recovery work is now complete. It is actually the closing ceremony and I notice many firefighters and rescue workers wear Hawaiian Leis donated from Hawaii that are being handed out. I refuse to wear one, to me it is not a gleeful celebration and I’m annoyed to see firefighters who wear the garland.
In just eight and a half months, almost 1.2 million tons of twisted steel and pulverized concrete were painstakingly removed and a six story mountain pile became a sixteen acre pit. The large thirty-six foot, fifty-eight ton final column, a remnant of the south tower, will be removed from the site covered in a black shroud. From there the steel beam will be driven up the long ramp on a flatbed truck to street level while we salute along the roadway edge and buglers play taps. There is a flyover by NYPD helicopters. The steel is covered in markings and inscriptions listing the death toll of FDNY, NYPD and PAPD emergency workers. There are also tributes and memorial cards with photographs attached of those who died. Fewer than half of the firefighters killed were recovered.
(Capt. Tim and me. Shortly after, Captain Tim gave me his frontpiece to keep. I kept if for many years, then returned it to the quarters of E 88 in a shadow box, to be forever revered after the Boss died)
The September 11th attack was the deadliest terrorist attack in human history, it was also the deadliest incident for firefighters and police officers. Seeing the empty shell of the WTC was enough and gave me closure. I have seen enough as I reflect on a blessed remarkable career and journey. I realize that I will never be the person that I am at this time and place, because I will never be this way again. The following day, I submitted my retirement papers. Mike was right; it was time to go.
Thanks for reading. KMG-365
Next, the epilogue of "Glory Days"